How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
