im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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