I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
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who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
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You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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