I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
