The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize