I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
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