my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
