That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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