He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
