How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Sext me about skeletons
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
