so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
operation harelip BJ is a go
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
