i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize