Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
