i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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