My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
