FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
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The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
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I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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