I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize