i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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