Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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