He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
