I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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