I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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