Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
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