She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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