new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
