epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
