yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
