idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
