Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize