TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
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