I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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