I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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