I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
