I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
