The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
