Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
