If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
