Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
