I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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