so that wasnt chicken after all
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
it's like heaven, but drunker
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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