I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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