i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
