I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
