What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
