She is in my trunk
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
