I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I think your dad took our porno
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
