Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
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