I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
