The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
