My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
