some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize