I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
