You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
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he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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