I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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