i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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