I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
