is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
