there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I want to fling myself into the sun
Randomize
