after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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