dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
