was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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